For you little man xxxx

Today i saw a butterfly
it reminded me of you
its tiny wings were magical
so wonderful and new.
Today i think i saw you
in that butterfly i saw
i`m sure i heard a whisper
as it sat upon the floor
the whisper that i heard
was from the flapping of its wings
it was the name of angels
that you play with in my dreams
i miss you baby oliver
i miss you every day
and in the beauty of this butterfly
your name will always stay

made for you Oliver by mummy xxx

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A loved one never leaves you,
They're never far away.
They watch you from a distance
And guide you every day.
They do become your angel
And look down from above.
A loved one never leaves you
Because you always have
Their love.

Yesterday was such a fantastic day spent with my family,and i am sure it was very healing for my mind as well.
I realised that through my grief I can and am allowed to take time out for myself and enjoy what there is around me.
we went to a military exhibition and then spent time playing on the beach it was awesome. we also caught the sun so am now feeling very brown :)
Today we are off to another event , a car show so am looking forward to that as well.

I never realised how hard grieving could be, its an emotional rollercoaster. People think you are ok when you are not and then when you say how you are feeling people seem to either avoid you or tell you to move on.
I have however managed to find some new friends through my grieving in groups via facebook.

We all have very different stories but the one thing we all share is our Grief. I have learnt that it is ok to chat about how you feel, and my new friends do not condemn me when i feel angry or want a good rant, after all losing a baby,child or any loved one is the hardest thing that we have to face as humans.

There are days where i do not even feel like getting out of my bed, days where i feel like i caannot go on any more, then you get the days where you laugh so much you think that your ribs may break.


I am good at hiding how I am feeling in case i upset my children and have built a brick wall at my hardest of times through my grieving proccess. I have asked many questions about how do you grieve? and i come to the conclusion that i have to take little steps in order to heal mmy heart, soul and mind.

I am allowing myself to have days where i cannot be bothered if i dont do anything, the housework wil get done when it gets done and as long as my children are fed, watered and loved they will be fine as well. I am lucky to have the support from my husband who is always there to offer an ear,hug or make me a cuppa tea or make sure that I eat.

I feel like fathers are sometimes left out with the death of a child but there is also a group that runs along side grieving mothers called Grieving fathers

I am trying as well in my grieving to make people aware of how my sons condition took his life at just 16 weeks and 3 days into my pregnancy

my son Oliver suffered with Myelomeningocele
Myelomeningocele is the most severe spina bifida type. It occurs when the spinal cord is exposed through an opening in the spine, resulting in partial or complete paralysis of the parts of the body that are below the spinal opening. The paralysis may be so severe that the affected individual is unable to walk and may have urinary and bowel dysfunction.In olivers case his condition was so bad that not only had he been paralized but also had severe brain damage which was so horrific and to the extent that Oliver would have never survived birth.

Preventing Spina Bifida
Recent studies have shown that one factor that increases the risk of having an NTD baby is low folic acid status before conception and during the first few weeks of pregnancy. If all women of childbearing age were to consume 0.4 mg of folic acid prior to becoming pregnant and during the first trimester of pregnancy, the incidence of folic acid preventable spina bifida and anencephaly could be reduced by up to 75%!!

If you are howeveer and older parent like myself it is important to see your GP to be prescribed rthe right dosage as the usual dosage for women younger may not be enough

What is Folic Acid?
Folic acid, a common water-soluble B vitamin, is essential for the functioning of the human body. During periods of rapid growth, such as pregnancy and fetal development, the body's requirement for this vitamin increases. Folic acid can be found in multivitamins, fortified breakfast cereals, dark green leafy vegetables such as broccoli and spinach, egg yolks, and some fruits and fruit juices. However, the average American diet does not supply the recommended level of folic acid.

Angelas campaign made it to parliament it will debated this morning please think of her as she debates for all of us angel mummys, she is waiting to go in and is doing ok, but please sign the petition ...thank you
www.ihaverightstoo.co.uk
media.causes.com

Join the cause

Dear friend, i dont have a cold nor do i have the flu, So why do you avoid me the way that you do?, Please dont tell me that time will heal my pain, Cant you see I hate being part of this devasting game, Dont shy away when i say my babys name,
I have told their story once & i will continue again & again, So im asking from one friend to...... an other,I need you more than you know, coz im a grieving mother

would you hold my hand when i felt afraid
wipe my tears and make me brave.
tell me that it will be ok.
strong to fight another day.

walk with me down that darkened road
make me laugh as i am growing old.

would you sit with me when i feel alone
make me feel like i am at home.
make me smile when i start to stutter
close the door when i feel a shudder.

to this i ask my closest friends
we will be together till the end

when a bad morning turns into something good.

Everything seemed to be ok when i first woke up, felt alive in my heart then realised i was still missing out on the one person that wanted to be cuddled upto and thats baby oliver. I sat here feeling very sorry formyself and then looked out of the window. There is a big tree and its leaves were blowing in the wind, it was then that i thought that ok Olivers not here and everyday the pain really hurts but i can see him in everything that i look at.
I watched the tree gain its new set of leaves this year. it looked so sad without them like a skeleton but day by day the leaves formed and this is how i think my heart will start to mend...day by day
I want to be as strong as that tree, go from nothing to soemthing beautiful :)

missing you quotes

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St Vincent Millay


Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. ~Kay Knudsen


Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. ~Lamartine


All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.
~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XLIII"


Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach


How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December's bareness everywhere!
~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XCVII"


Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes. ~Henry David Thoreau


If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi


Within you I lose myself...
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again.
~Author Unknown


Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell. ~Emily Dickinson, "Parting"


Gone - flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Gone, and a cloud in my heart.
~Alfred Tennyson


Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair. ~William Cowper


What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you. ~Richard Wilbur


No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. ~Robert Southey


Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
~W.S. Merwin, "Separation"


Thou art gone from my gaze like a beautiful dream.
And I seek thee in vain by the meadow and stream.
~George Linley


Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age. ~John Dryden


Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven. ~Tryon Edwards


When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum....
~Amy Lowell, "The Taxi"


Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly,
We ought to be together, you and I.
~Henry Alford, "You and I" (Thanks, Jenn)


As contraries are known by contraries, so is the delight of presence best known by the torments of absence. ~Alcibiades


Oft in the tranquil hour of night,
When stars illume the sky,
I gaze upon each orb of light,
And wish that thou wert by.
~George Linley


Days of absence, sad and dreary,
Clothed in sorrow's dark array, -
Days of absence, I am weary;
She I love is far away.
~Jean-Jacques Rousseau


You left, and my heart is a ceaseless sermon of loneliness. ~Jaesse Tyler


In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged. ~Hans Nouwens


The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook


What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?
~Frances Anne Kemble


I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn't know that, and I have no carbons. ~Adrienne Rich


I am tired, Beloved,
of chafing my heart against
the want of you;
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
~Amy Lowell, "The Letter"


I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you. ~Author Unknown


To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. ~George Lansdowne


In the hope to meet
Shortly again, and make our absence sweet.
~Ben Jonson


The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it? ~Nicholas Rowe


Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. ~Charles M. Schulz


Where'er I roam, whatever realms to see,
My heart untravelled, fondly turns to thee;
Still to my brother turns, with ceaseless pain,
And drags at each remove a lengthening chain.
~Oliver Goldsmith, The Traveller


Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will. ~Author Unknown


We only part to meet again. ~John Gay


She went her unremembering way,
She went and left in me
The pang of all the partings gone,
And partings yet to be.
~Francis Thompson


One kind kiss before we part,
Drop a tear, and bid adieu;
Though we sever, my fond heart
Till we meet shall pant for you.
~Robert Dodsley


As the presence of those we love is as a double life, so absence, in its anxious longing and sense of vacancy, is as a foretaste of death. ~Anna Brownell Jameson


Ye flowers that drop, forsaken by the spring,
Ye birds that, left by summer, cease to sing,
Ye trees that fade, when Autumn heats remove,
Say, is not absence death to those who love?
~Alexander Pope


A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again. ~Author Unknown


Don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again after moments or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends. ~Richard Bach


Ever absent, ever near;
Still I see thee, still I hear;
Yet I cannot reach thee, dear!
~Francis Kazinczy


Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too. ~Author Unknown


Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire. ~Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French


The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness. ~Norman Cousins


It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This is true of men as of dogs. ~Eric Hoffer


I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Miscarriage Manual

A primary guide for parents who have experienced the death of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or other perinatal loss.
Miscarriage Support

Miscarriage support and information resources
M.I.S.S.

An international nonprofit organization which provides immediate and ongoing support to grieving families
Forever Our Angels

A collection of personal stories told by the men and women who were dealt the blow of miscarriage.
Miscarriage Memories

Dedicated to providing meaningful keepsake gifts for families who have suffered the loss of an unborn child

Full Term Loss & Still Birth
Born Still

Christian support for grieving parents
National Stillbirth Society

is fighting to stamp out S.A.D.S. - because all of our children matter. The mission of the parent-led National Stillbirth Society is to "educate and agitate" for greater stillbirth awareness, research and reform.
International Stillbirth Alliance

- Promoting awareness and research to prevent stillbirth. Our mission is to raise public awareness of stillbirth, to educate the community on recommended precautionary practices and to facilitate research on the prevention of stillbirth.
SIDS
AIM

Angels in the Media is a letter writing campaign to draw awareness to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
First Candle/SIDS Alliance

Support for families experiencing the death of a baby or anyone seeking the latest, quality-assured information about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
American SIDS Institute

SIDS Q and A

SIDS Facts

Stillbirth Q and A

Stillbirth Facts
For Fathers & Grandfathers
Miscarriages Hurt Men Too

Men from around the world share their miscarriage stories and offer priceless advice to others.
Genetic Defects
A Trisomy 18 Journey

Addresses the issue of getting an "incompatible with life" prenatal diagnosis, deciding to carry to term, making decisions about what palliative care means for an infant, and grieving the loss of an infant. It includes trisomy 18, grief, and carrying-to-term resources.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBLkbBEfjcc

A Simple Hug

by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr

There's something in a simple hug That always warms the heart; It welcomes us back home And makes it easier to part A hug's a way to share the joy And sad times we go through, Or just a way for friends to say They like you 'cause you're you Hugs are meant for anyone For whom we really care, From your grandma to your neighbor, Or a cuddly teddy bear A hug is an amazing thing - It's just the perfect way To show the love we're feeling But can't find the words to say It's funny how a little hug Makes everyone feel good; In every place and type, It's always understood And hugs don't need new equipment, Special batteries or parts Just open up your arms And open up your hearts

Thankyou Barbera for sending this to me xxx